10 Tips to Help You Get the Most Out of Sessions

Showing up to therapy is just the first step. Here is some advice on how to tap into life-changing results.

You took a brave leap when you decided to pursue therapy to better yourself. As proud as you deserve to be for nurturing your mental health, there’s more work to do to make sure your therapy journey is as healing as possible. You deserve to put the work in to achieve mental ease and wellness. You can follow these steps to help your therapist help you.

1. Choose carefully

Asking for help is absolutely commendable. But don’t settle for the therapist whose office is down the road purely out of convenience. 

To set yourself up for success with your therapy sessions, you’ll want guidance from a professional suited to address your concerns. Consider the following when trying to find the right therapist for you. 

Specialization: Some therapists receive certifications specific to a certain demographic or life event. Certifications that may be useful to start your search include:

• couples therapists

• grief therapists

• trauma therapists

• addiction counselors

• divorce counselors

Approach: There are many ways to go about talk therapy, some of which include: 

• cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

• humanistic therapy

• integrative or holistic therapy

Unless you see red flags during the first meeting, give it three sessions or so before you decide if it’s going to work or not. Communicate your concerns to your therapist. If it’s not going to work, take note of which qualities worked for you and which didn’t. Apply this knowledge if you decide to find a better fit. 

2. Handle the business side of therapy first

When you’re sitting face-to-face with your therapist, don’t let things like trying to remember to update zoom or let the session’s out-of-pocket fee distract you from the important work you’re doing.  Place your full attention on the help you need during your appointment with your therapist. 

3. View therapy as a collaboration 

Therapy is no spectator sport. Once you’re in a session with your therapist, your path to wellness is a team effort. Your therapist may be the guide, but you carry the responsibility of opening up about the difficult aspects of your life. Sometimes people are afraid to let the therapist guide the session and sometimes people are afraid to engage too deeply with the therapist’s questions. The best therapy is a balance between guiding the client and the client finding their own answers. 

4. Schedule sessions at a good time

Vulnerability is exhausting. And when you’re truly putting in the work to improve your mind and situation, you’ll be digging deep to expose your inner world and unveil difficult parts of your life. Choose a time when you have the mental space to be present with your therapist. This may not be at the tail end of a taxing workday. 

5. Say anything in therapy

You can say the tough thing. If you’re having a hard time opening up about traumas, negative feelings, and habits that make you feel ashamed, you’re not alone. But verbalizing your struggles is critical to therapeutic benefit. To help your therapist help you, there is nothing too shameful, embarrassing, or taboo to talk about in therapy.

6. Talk about therapy in therapy

When you expose your innermost feelings in therapy, it’s normal to experience intense fear and stress. You’re buying into a method for healing and you might have some “buyer’s remorse.” You may use therapy to talk about those feelings too. Rather than pushing these negative feelings away, acknowledge them head-on with your therapist for opportunities to reflect. I also encourage you to investigate your relationship with your therapist. It’s OK and usually really helpful to ask your therapist questions, especially questions about how we are doing the work of therapy together, the strategy for the sessions, and the therapeutic relationship. 

7. Set landmarks for change

Psychotherapy is not a straight-line solution to your problems. Think about it as a process that builds constructive habits and thought patterns. When you fall back on old thought processes, don’t beat yourself up. The landmarks established by you and your therapist will give you room to be flawed, so you won’t need to start over at square one after every stumble. You can move forward imperfectly.

8. Do the work outside your sessions

Your therapy session shouldn’t exist in a vacuum. Implementing the tools you’ve learned in therapy in your day-to-day life is the best way to see your personal growth. If you’re wondering what to do between therapy sessions, ask your therapist about actionable ways you can carry your therapy outside of the confines of your 50-minute meeting. For me, a client can best help me help them by coming prepared. Take notes throughout the week and come to session with agenda points. The session is your time — we should talk about what’s on your mind. I created a journal to help clients stay organized with this-A Therapy Journal

9. Set boundaries around therapy

Therapy is truly your safe space. Sometimes, you’ll need to guard that space from others. Well-meaning friends and family may ask what you’re talking about in therapy. Don’t feel obligated to divulge what happens in your therapy sessions, though. What you talk about with your therapist is meant to help you alone. Sharing that confidential information with others outside of the therapy room may open you up to unnecessary criticism and opinions that are not conducive to your mental healing. 

10. Savor the process

Therapy can be heartbreaking, illuminating, and transformational.  One of the most important things is to understand that the therapeutic process isn’t an overnight thing, even though clients may want it to be. Like many other things in life, it’s about learning, growing, and making small changes that will be long-lasting.

So, now what? Chaos is part of life. The unexpected and pains of life will show up in your relationships, school, and work. When these disruptions happen, having the right therapist and fully embracing the process can help you restore the flow and balance in your life.

You know what to do and how to set yourself up for success. So no more excuses — start getting help now. Start Today!